Hope

A Cheerful Heart is Good Medicine

Hello

I'm still alive.

This medication stuff however, it's making me a little loopy. I just want to be honest. Dresser is finished. Front porch is coming together well. Still accomplishing. But feeling, I don't know, strange.

But I am still here, I'm pushing through it all. Tomorrow is my day to keep all of my promises made during the week *insert smile here*

Picture courtesy of this site

Love & Light

Jamie Lee

Right on Time

Two days in a row!! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Today was a chilly day, I felt like being buried under the covers all day adn sleeping. But I didn't. In between bouts of sitting around listlessly I did manage to make myself useful.

I've been working on the finish of Jalaya's dresser. It's a decopauge/paint project. The dresser was bought for her before she was actually even born. I had painted some cute little zoo animals on it to match her crib bedding at the time, but now it needs to be more grown up. You know, because she's 8 and all. The dresser is a Value City Furniture particle board job, but just wait till you see the after. You'll be in love just as much as we are. I didn't take a before picture recently, but I promise I'll dig up the original. It's on a disc somewhere.

I won't tease you with anymore projects I don't have pics of yet. But I will leave you with a few cutie patootie dance pics of my lovey-girl.







Jalaya & Morgan with her adorable pinch her cheeks freckles







Jalaya and those gorgeous Booker girls


OH!!! Before I forget, I came downstairs tonight to make sure Lola had some water (she's with child(ren), but that's a story for another time and a more mature audience). I looked out the front door and right there, on my porch, right in front of my face was a big, fat, nasty RACCOON. He was devilishly chewing on my potted Impatients. Of course, he sensed me there and waddled his obese self down my 10 steps to go find another pampered flower to snack on.



(photo by google images)Trust me, this fella wasn't so attractive, and he ain't only eatin' flowers ifyaknowwhatimean.

Until Tomorrow...with a post much much earlier

Jamie Lee

Looking Forward

Whew! I almost don't even know where to start! It's been a whirlwind of craziness since I last posted (which was in March. March 4th to be exact, I should be stoned in the street for that). So, I will try to give you the short winded version, like I said, I'll try.



Back in March, I had landed the work at home job doing marketing for the company Al the hubby works for. The job really was best case scenario for me, with only a few months left of school, I would be able to have the kids right at home with me, with a sitter for the few hours a day I would spend working. It was a sigh of relief, a few extra bucks, and no worries about gas money, or any of the other headaches of working outside of the home. Then, like a miracle, another job opportunity fell into my lap. It was for an insurance agent here in town. I was still licensed in Property and Casualty, so it seemed like a no-brainer to take this job. It was considerably less money than what I had previously made in insurance, but when I went to the interview and got to talking and feeling the atmosphere, well, I thought; 'hey, this could be exactly what I need!'.



I left the job with Al's company and signed on for a part-time-until-fall (both of the kiddos would be in school by this time, so full-time job for Mommy!) position at the new place. The interview rocked my world, let me tell you. This woman is a few years older than my own mother, and has 4 boys. She has dark hair and full lips and is from another country. She told me of how I looked as if I could be her child, and that she always wanted a daughter. She promised me bonus after bonus. Bonus for auto, bonus for home, bonus for loans. She told me she was very generous in this area, and appreciated all the hard work it took to increase sales and new business. I left there pumped, with a new found excitement for life!



I was expecting to work about 24 hours a week, I had about a full month of training and getting acclimated to the office. I was pretty surprised actually, because my first day there I was already answering phones and doing paperwork. They put me right to work. And work hard I did. There really wasn't any time for me to take a lunch, and I noticed that it wasn't really pushed either. That wasn't a huge deal to me because it's a personality quirk of mine that I don't stop to eat when I'm eager to finish a job. I had a great deal of passion and excitement for this job, I loved the interaction with policyholders. I had a great desk, facing the door so I was the first face you would see walking in. I stayed a lot of late evenings too. I felt bad that this woman, who's husband had passed a few years back, would stay in the office so long after it closed, I wanted to know as much as I possibly could about her, her country, her culture, how she does business...how we could do even better! While I was working on my licensing agreement with the company, I discovered upon pulling MY license, that it expired at the end of the month. Thankfully I had completed most of the credits with my last job so there were only 3 more to complete to renew. The woman said she would go ahead and pay this for me. I didn't bat an eye at this, or really look at it like it was a huge favor. To me, I was her employee, doing her work, and my license issues were a work expense. So that was cool, I finished the credits and moved on to the next thing.



I actually hadn't gotten paid yet in all this time, I finally questioned it. She said that she would not pay me for the training (what?!?!?!?!!). She said the first 2 weeks were probation period, but the last 2 she would pay me for. With all the late hours and extra days I came in, my hours equaled about 56. I noticed she was clearly irritated, and questioned how I could have possibly worked that much. I said; 'I'm here ALL THE TIME!!!' Which I was. She cut me a check though, not through payroll but on her business account. It was on my birthday. Right on time for checks written out of my own account not to bounce.



Things pretty much went downhill from there. I came in often on the days I was to be off. She had advised me she knew the importance of family, and understood the need for a bit of flexibility in work when it comes to them. I also didn't have a car, so Al & I put our heads together and found a way to finance our Scion so I would have a reliable way to work. I missed a few days here and there, one, due to the car situation, and 2 because Aidie started to complain of a toothache. Al took him to the dentist (while I was at work), and discovered that he had not 1, not 2 but 10 cavities in his mouth!! (insert feelings of being a horrible mother here) 3 teeth needed pulled and the rest capped. Of course the dental office said they couldn't do this until September, and put Aid on an antibiotic which they said 'should' take care of the pain until he could have the teeth taken care of.



Praise God from whom all blessings flow! I was scheduled to work on a Tuesday, which normally was my day off, but she needed me so I said I would come in. I was up early getting ready, when I got a call from Al, who said he got a call from the dentist who advised they had a cancellation that day, and would we be able to bring Aid in around noon. I immediately called her and left it pretty much up to her as to what I should do. She couldn't have been nicer! Go go your children are more important than anything and you can't have your son in any kind of pain. So I missed 2 total days from the procedure and that was it during my employment there.



I have to say, all the overtime that I put in, the late evenings, even at times going IN to the office in the evening and staying to the wee hours with her, I only ever got paid for 40 hours on every check that came biweekly I was just not getting paid for my extra time. At one point it was discovered that my license had been expired. I guess in addition to the continuing education fees, there was also a renewal fee that was to be paid. I had gone through the company people when I was stepping into the procedure of renewing my license and they never told me this either. The penalty for expiration was a fee of $165.00. She told me that half of that she would take on, and the other half she would take out of my check $5 at a time because she knew we were struggling financially. I didn't argue, I was just happy it was getting done. Now, I'm not really getting into how tough it was to work there. I wanted so badly for the job to pan out that I was willing to overlook an awful lot of things. I was very sincerely mistreated by the office manager there. The kindness I have inside of me however, won over the feeling of ever being nasty myself, so I overlooked that as well.



Then, the craziest thing happened. Now keep in mind this is May already. It was a Tuesday, I was off work, and Allan was actually off work as well. That was so unheard of in May. May is when the roofing groove gets underway. But he was, and seemed to be excited about it. He was so adamant at telling me that he would be home that day, that I almost started to be annoyed. This, however, was a testament to how much he cherishes and loves me, because Tuesday, May 17, turned out to be the day I collapsed in my small bathroom and had a grand mal seizure. I would have died if he hadn't been there. He saved my life. He's my hero.



Things kind of spiraled after that. Never for me mentally, but outward actions from other people did. I had Allan call my work from the hospital once I was awake and coherent. She told him to tell me not to worry about a thing, to take care of myself. To get better. The hospital kept me for 2 days and released me with seizure meds. This may seem ridiculous to some, but I did text her and ask if she wanted me to come in on Friday. She said absolutely not. To take care of myself. She called me on Friday, again saying the same thing. On Monday I was getting ready for work, when I received another phone call from her telling me she did not want me to return yet. She felt as if it was too soon, and wanted to make sure that I was ok first. She said to take the whole week. She called me again later on in the week about a file I had. This file I had brought home with me on the Monday before my seizure for a project I had been working on. I had cleared this with her twice before I took it with me. I didn't think a thing about having this file since my incident, and hadn't cracked it open not once. She was positively LIVID I had this file. She told me that nothing was to be taken out of the office (even though I had cleared this with her, and she also had advised me to do whatever I felt necessary for the project, that she trusted me). She drove to my house, angry as a hornet. She had advised me to leave it in my mailbox, but I waited for her to tell her myself, to her face that she had given me the permission to take this file. She then told me she had never said that, and how would I know since I'm the one with the seizures. I told her I would be back to work on Monday, to which she replied she would rather my concentration be better, and that she would like to know what the neurologist said about my abilities before she allowed me back. Then she drove off.



The following week was pay week. We had paid the mortgage, I dropped a check off that Monday. There was half of it in the account already and the other half would be covered by my check. I had worked the previous Mon, Wed, & Fri, then the Mon before the incident, so I had a tiny but sufficient amount to be deposited. It never was deposited. And that's when the doo doo hit the fan.



I text her to find out why it wasn't there. She then unleashed the beast. She told me that I didn't have very many hours before I went out for health reasons. She said that I was to come back that Monday, but I was a no-show (again...WHAT?!??!??) then on and on and on. I wasn't reliable, I wasn't this, I wasn't that, all I do was mess up. One thing after the other. I said what I had to say in the most respectful way possible. I asked her if she wanted me to come back at all and she never answered. I also called her and left messages, she never called me back. That Friday, I received 2 letters in one envelope with return receipt requested. The first letter said that as of June 10 my employment was terminated. Under that it stated that the office needed more commitment and responsibility. The second letter said that I only worked 2 days, and that she had paid my continuing education fee, and the renewal penalty. So, she would say we were 'even'.



I know this is where your mouth is hanging open just like mine was. There are so many things to say, and at the same time, nothing at all to respond with. It was simply not an atmosphere where I would flourish. God shut the door. I'm not looking back. I'm looking forward.



So you'll be seeing and reading a lot more of me. I've put my ebay shop back up. I've organized my life in several very efficient and effective ways, and I'm pressing on. The seizure ended up as a huge blessing. I had been having consistent partial seizures and didn't even know it. They were the reason I felt as if I'd been hit by a bus, and had no sleep every morning. I have so much energy now, and it has cut my headaches in half. The most important thing to come out of it though, is my renewal. I had the clarity in that experience to know that life can end in a literal blink of an eye. One moment I was in the bathroom placing the shaving cream back to its home, and the next I was on the floor with no clue why, or even what year it was. I had come close to my story being ended. I see the world with new eyes. I want to do my best to make it all more beautiful too.



Thanks for reading all of that. I believe, claim, and already praise like a fool that life will continue to look up and be easier. The struggles are almost over. I would like to take you all on the uphill journey with me. If you want to come.





With a Grateful Heart,






Jamie Lee